Today, on Feb. 26, 2025, at a lectern covered with scattered orange daisies, with his sister Ofri by his side and an orange kippah on his head, his black shirt ripped in the tradition of Jewish mourners, Yarden Bibas set up to do the impossible: eulogize his wife and two small children. Their three bodies were returned to Israel only last week, after they were taken from their homes in Nir Oz on October 7 and held hostage in Gaza for more than 15 months in Hamas captivity. Shiri Bibas was 32, Ariel just 4 years old and little Kfir just a few months shy of his first birthday when they were killed.
Yarden, who was also taken hostage by Hamas and released earlier this month, called his wife “mi amor,” using Spanish, the language of her late parents Argentinian Israeli Margit and Yossi. They were killed in their home on October 7. He called her that early on in their relationship, he explained, and at the time Shiri told him not to use the term of endearment unless he truly loved her.
“So Shiri, I’m here to tell you that I loved you already when I called you ‘mi amor,'” he said. “That I love you and will always love you. You are everything to me. The best wife and best mother there is… my best friend.”
He called her “Mishmish,” the Hebrew word for apricot, his nickname for her. “Who will help me make decisions now? How am I supposed to make decisions without you?” he wondered. “Remember our last one? In the shelter room, I asked you if we fight or surrender. You said fight. So I fought. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. If I had only known what was going to happen, I wouldn’t have fired.”
He reminisced about the births of the boys, the days they would sit at home or in a coffee shop together and talk for hours. “I miss it. Your presence is missed… I wanted to tell you about what is happening in the world and here in Israel. Everyone knows and loves you… People tell me they’ll always be by my side but they’re not you. So stay by my side and don’t go far. This is the closest to you that I’ve been since October 7 and I can’t hug and hold you and it breaks me. Please watch over me. Keep me safe from bad decisions. Protect me from the bad things and from myself. Make sure I don’t sink into the darkness. Mishmish, I love you.”
He then spoke to Ariel, who made him a dad. “You made us a family. You taught me about what was really important in life and about responsibility. On the day you were born, I became an adult in a moment because of you. You taught me so much about myself and I want to thank you. Thank you my love. I hope you’re not mad that I couldn’t protect you like I should have and that I wasn’t there for you. I hope you know that I thought of you every day and every minute. I hope you’re enjoying heaven. I’m sure you’re making all the angels laugh with all your silliness and impressions. I hope there are a lot of butterflies that you can look at like you did on our picnics… Be careful when you step off a cloud, not to step on Tony,” he said, referring to their dog, who was killed on October 7.
“Teach Kfir your impressions and make everyone laugh up there,” he continued, “I love you ‘the most in the world always in the world,’ just like you used to tell us.”
To Kfir, he said: “I didn’t think our family could be more perfect and then you came and made it more perfect. I remember your birth, when the midwife stopped everything and we got frightened. We were worried something had happened. But it was just to say that we have another redhead. Mommy and me laughed and were happy. You brought more light and joy into our little home. You came with the laughter and sweet winning smile and I was addicted in that second. I couldn’t not ‘snack’ on you the whole time.”
“Kfir, I’m sorry I couldn’t watch over you better but it’s important that you know that I love you so much and miss you so much,” he continued, “I miss ‘snacking’ on you and hearing you laugh. I miss our games in the morning when mom asked me to watch over you before I go to work. I so loved those little moments and I miss them today more then ever. I love you the most in the world. I have a lot more things to say but will keep them for when we are alone.”
Yarden dedicated three songs to his family: “Roman Sky” by the metal band Avenged Sevenfold to his wife, “I Thank You Child” by Zakk Wylde to his children and Disturbed’s “Thank You for the Memories” to seal the somber ceremony. Disturbed’s Jewish founding frontman, David Draiman, addressed Yarden in a video, speaking in Hebrew and sharing his deepest condolences. He said that he, too, will do everything to “hold on” to the Bibas family’s memories.
Yarden’s sister Ofri, who fought relentlessly for the release of her family since October 7, also spoke at the service. “This is not how I hoped to see you again,” she said through tears. “How can you begin to say goodbye?”
She shared how her tireless work for her family’s release helped keep them alive in her mind, despite everything she knew might be true. She told Shiri that she can’t imagine not having picnics again, not reveling in the joy of watching their children embrace and play together. She mourned that Shiri will never be able to give her hand-me-down clothes from Kfir to the nephew she never got to meet, Ofri’s youngest son Afik.
“How can one imagine a future without you?” she wondered tearfully. She told Shiri not to worry about Yarden, that all the wind she blew in his sails throughout the years is now what’s keeping them sailing. She talked about how much she missed her sweet nephews, and how she never even got to give Kfir a present for his first birthday. She shared that every time she sees a Batman costume and a baby laugh she will think of them. “You shouldn’t have been taken and you should have been returned alive,” she told her little nephews. She called for the government to take responsibility and to investigate the failures of October 7, saying that will be the real apology, and that sorry won’t mean anything until there’s real accountability for what happened to her family.
“They could have saved you but preferred revenge. We lost. Our personal picture of victory won’t happen,” she stated, but promised to do good in the honor of the three, saying she will love and miss them forever.
Shiri’s sister, Dana, also spoke at the private service, which was not open to the public but parts of which were broadcast to those wishing to mourn with the family. “Please watch over us from above, five angels that are just mine,” she said. She asked her sister to hug their parents tight. “Please send energies here that will take all the evil out of the world so that only the good remains. I promise you, like I promised mom and dad, that the monsters on the other sides of the fence won’t succeed in their mission. They won’t make us surrender, they won’t break us. On the contrary — their mission has failed because we are united, strong, we’ll become invincible, they’ll lose.”
Across the country and the world, thousands gather to say goodbye to the two Bibas children and Shiri. At hostage square, the ceremony was broadcast on a screen to tearful faces. As the bodies made their way to the cemetery near the family’s kibbutz of Nir Oz, people gathered at designated spots to wish the three a final, heartbreaking farewell. In all these places, people were flying orange balloons, wearing Batman costumes, waving Israeli flags with yellow ribbons on them and holding signs of love and mourning, many sharing a simple message with Yarden: “Sorry.”
If you want to share a message of support for Yarden, you can do so here.
