Recently, the staff of Kveller and our partner site Hey Alma got together over Slack to have a robust conversation about Netflix’s new hot rabbi show, “Nobody Wants This.” We had so many thoughts that they couldn’t all fit into one article — to read the first part of this conversation, head on over to Hey Alma.
Vanessa: Let’s talk “shiksa.” Go.
Molly: Ahhhhh.
Evelyn: If you’re curious, the word “shiksa” was said 16 times, “goy” was said twice. 17 if you’re counting the name of one of the episodes.
Lior: Aaaaaah.
Molly: I would have guessed much higher for shiksa. It felt like a constant.
Daci: That is more times than I have said — or have heard anyone say — the word shiksa in my life.
Lior: Every time it made me feel awful. I hate that word so much.
Molly: Every time, it sounded like a legit slur.
Evelyn: They stopped saying it as much by the end. It made me uncomfortable to hear but also I do think when that insult is leveled at you, it becomes yours to reclaim.
Daci: I was thinking that too, Evelyn.
Molly: Yeah, I’ve always felt like if a non-Jewish woman dating/married to a Jewish man wants to call herself a shiksa that is fine! But nobody else should. And this was a case where it was always the Jews using it and it felt so, so awful.
Evelyn: Also, the way that Noah defines “shiksa” was incorrect. He says now it just means you’re blonde and non-Jewish and isn’t derogatory anymore, but I’d say there’s still a hugely negative connotation.
Molly: They were literally swapping out “shiksa” with “whore” at any given moment.
Evelyn: But I will say we would all consider ourselves to be parts of progressive Jewish communities, right? Which would explain why we don’t hear that word around us. I think there are definitely Jewish communities still today that throw around that word or at least in private.
Molly: This show is now going to be seen by all of Netflix land and the audience is going to think it’s a totally fine word to use. I’m scared.
Vanessa: Who is this show for?
Lior: It’s for people who love binging rom-coms on Netflix, the majority of whom are not Jewish.
Daci: It was for me prior to working here. I probably wouldn’t have considered any of this. I wonder if the Jewish parts will barely register for the average Netflix viewer.
Evelyn: I think Jews should watch it, to be honest.
Lior: Are we overthinking it? (A question asked by Jews every day, everywhere.)
Evelyn: I just want to add that I feel like we’re talking about this show as if Jews weren’t involved and Erin Foster, the creator, converted to Judaism, and I would be very surprised if the writing staff didn’t include at least one Jew.
Molly: This wouldn’t be the first time that Jews created something that upsets the Jews, or some Jews.
Vanessa: I think, Evelyn, your point about it being a good show for all Jews to watch and sort of reckon with is really interesting.
Evelyn: I think Judaism as a religion is portrayed beautifully in the show.
Daci: I agree!
Lior: This does seem to have a lot of love for Judaism.
Molly: I also see what you mean about Jews watching this show — and also seeing part of our attitude towards non-Jews portrayed in this way could maybe open people’s eyes. However, I do really worry about the overarching themes that I think people will take away, which is “Jewish women are no fun.”
Daci: I think that’s real, Molly. I agree with Evelyn that I like how Judaism was portrayed. Except when he was trying too hard to make Havdalah happen. It was too much. (I like Havdalah.)
Molly: My logline for this show is: Great for Judaism, terrible for Jewish women.
Evelyn: I think if Jews come away uncomfortable or mad from watching certain parts of the show (like I did), we should interrogate how some Jewish communities treat the non-Jewish partners of Jews instead of focusing our energy on getting mad at this show.
Lior: I also worry that people will take away that Jews being against Jews marrying non-Jews is this huge prevailing phenomenon, when actually most Jews in this country are intermarried. Obviously, there’s a lot of realness to this show, but it’s emblematic of a specific Jewish experience.
Daci: Oh yeah, how did we feel about how the rabbi talked about “the destruction of the Jewish people?”
Vanessa: That is something people say, Daci. Unfortunately.
Molly: Yes, I’ve heard that.
Evelyn: That made me so angry! I come from an interfaith household, and I turned out just fine.
Lior: I think we could’ve seen an intermarried Jewish couple on the show to give a different perspective.
Daci: Yeah, I think if they were at all worried about how it would be received, they might have had an actual interfaith couple to help assuage that.
Vanessa: I think what we keep coming up against here is that some of the stereotypes the show leaned into are really unfair and bad for Jews, and some of it is realistic representation of our community (even if we personally don’t partake), and that is hard to watch.
Avital: I thought the discussion about “what Jews look like” was also an important part, despite it being comedic.
Evelyn: And the hole in the sheet myth, too.
Daci: The hole in the sheet was funny, I thought.
Evelyn: Adam putting his face through it killed me.
Molly: Yeah, those moments when they’re playing on the misconceptions were funny.
Evelyn: I wanted more of that. I think the show really succeeded in those moments.
Avital: Sorry, but can we please acknowledge the Mandy Patinkin discourse in the car?
Evelyn: Young Mandy Patinkin is hot!
Molly: That was the best scene, IMO. The funniest.
Evelyn: They were right for bringing it up.
Molly: Though I did think it was funny because to me Adam Brody does look like the “stereotypical Jew” people often think of with dark curly hair.
Avital: Also, the basketball team?!? They killed that.
Daci: The whole show was so funny!
Avital: The Jewish men running around with their jerseys over t-shirts just felt so correct for reasons I can’t explain.
Lior: The basketball team made me cringe a little at first because I’ve been thinking about the Jews being bad at sports stereotype a lot.
Evelyn: I screamed when Adam Brody said “Prego.”
Molly: OMG, wait, yes, the “Prego”!
Lior: PREGO.
Avital: The “Prego” moment was insane.
Molly: That was so funny. I did laugh out loud then.
Evelyn: Full on screaming.
Vanessa: Agree x 100.
Lior: An iconic TV moment. Would give it an award.
Evelyn: That moment also did feel very “I’m an NJB and I need to impress the parents” in an authentic way.
Vanessa: What was up with the ending? Do we think there’s gonna be a season 2?
Avital: I hope not. I’m so sorry. It’s not Adam Brody’s fault.
Molly: The ending felt fairly predictable to me, which is fine. I expect that from a rom-com.
Daci: It felt like they set it up for a second season.
Lior: I am actually hoping for a season two. I want a Rebecca arc.
Evelyn: They’re definitely angling for a season two. I think it’s so interesting that this show did the opposite of “Keeping the Faith.” And “Keeping the Faith” probably feels more palatable for that reason. excluding how Jewish women are treated.
Vanessa: Is this show Good for The Jews?
Daci: It’s probably net negative?
Avital: Leans negative for the Jews, yeah.
Daci: But like… I still loved it.
Evelyn: I don’t think representation has to be flattering.
Avital: I think representation has to be nuanced.
Molly: I am all for unlikable characters and unflattering representation, but I think within the context of how other characters are shown in this show, it’s not great.
Evelyn: It’s a comedy, and it’s not on the creators if people come away from this show being like, “I think this is how all Jews are based on watching this one thing.”
Lior: This is one of those cases where I struggle with that question. I want to say it’s not good for the Jews, but also I think as a Jewish viewer there were Jewish moments of growth that were relatable and reverent — Shabbat, Havdalah, Jewish camp — not exactly 100% accurate, but you felt the Jewish love.
Evelyn: Agreed, Lior!
Daci: True, true — if, to Evelyn’s point, it helps Jews reflect on these things, is it in a way good for the Jews?
Lior: Just thinking about the title of the show, it asks a lot of questions about what we want and don’t want in relation to family and tradition, not as far as religiosity, so much, that I think we should be asking ourselves.
Evelyn: Lior, you made me like the title. I hated it, and now I’m like OK, yeah. Also, to be fair, “is it good or bad for the Jews” isn’t really a nuanced question, lol.
Vanessa: Haha, not at all. I think the rest of our roundtable was nuanced, though!
