Viral Tantrum Video Proves Why We Shouldn't Judge Someone’s Parenting

It’s impossible to be parent and never experience a tantrum. Everyone’s child has a meltdown, regardless of how great of a parent you are. It just happens–and usually at inconvenient times, like in the Target parking lot. Of course, this kind of situation takes on a whole other meaning when you have a child with special needs–and strangers decide to pass judgment like it’s free wine.

That’s exactly what happened to one mom when her son with autism had a meltdown in public–and the tantrum was caught on camera and posted online–and of course, it went viral. In the video, which was shot in 2010, Amie Carter’s then 2-year-old son Jayden was having a tantrum. As such, they were leaving a restaurant because Jayden was upset about a game gone wrong. This was before Jayden’s diagnosis. She told SheKnows:

“When we got to the restaurant, Jayden noticed the crane game, where you can win a stuffed animal. He obsessed with wanting to play it during dinner. I found five quarters to give him and told him that if he stopped bugging about it, he could use the quarters before we left. What led to it? He didn’t win anything, refused to leave, and I at least got him to the parking lot.”

The video was actually taken by Carter’s daughter as a way to show Jayden’s behavior to his doctor in order to get a diagnosis. This past week, the video resurfaced when Facebook user Mike Steele uploaded it with the caption “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” In a twist of events, Steele changed his tune once he learned about the reason for Jayden’s behavior–although at that point, the damage was already done.

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So, you may be thinking: Why did Carter share the video in the first place? She told Scary Mommy that she was simply trying to get help, especially since she was told to put her son in foster care:

“I honestly chose to post it because I was mad and frustrated with the system and its lack of support. I was mad because I had been speaking out, trying to get help. I decided to be a voice and posted the video.”

When Steele shared it on Facebook originally, many comments said that Jayden was merely spoiled and needed physical punishment and discipline. Steele, in particular, only issued an apology statement after Carter contacted him explaining the situation. He wrote:

“Just by observing this mother with her son it appears that it’s a little boy misbehaving and the mother is being patient with her son. Little did I know, this little boy name is Jayden; he is diagnosed with Autism.”

What upsets me, however, is the fact that those unkind words shouldn’t have been said about Jayden and his mom in the first place. No one has any right to publicly humiliate a child and parent, especially when no one knows their history or situation.

If anything, this is an example of how little compassion, empathy, and understanding many people have when it comes to others–especially on the internet. It’s easy to pass judgment when you don’t have to actually see the other person on the other side of the screen. But let this be a reminder that everyone is dealing with something–and choosing compassion over judgment is always the best course of action.

Watch the video below:

https://youtu.be/_Q5FdzHaOuE

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Joanna C. Valente

Joanna Valente is the former Staff Writer at Kveller. Joanna is the author of Sirs & Madams, The Gods Are Dead, Xenos, and Marys of the Sea, and received an MFA at Sarah Lawrence College. You can follow @joannasaid on Twitter and @joannacvalente on Instagram.