As a rabbi and Hanukkah pajama-maker, this season is the most wonderful time of the year for me. I love seeing Hanukkah items pop up in store aisles, endcaps and checkout areas. The Hanukkah market has grown so much these past few years, but we’ve discovered that more merch means more…mishaps (like the epic “Happy Tuchus” Sukkot treat box that kicked off this season of mistakes).
So far, I’ve been to 30 stores to peruse (and OK, judge) their Hanukkah offerings (I post each visit on Instagram) and spend way too much time looking at Hanukkah items online, and unfortunately, I’ve come across a lot of errors.
I definitely appreciate the efforts of brands — both large and small — to include Hanukkah in their holiday collections. My immigrant ancestors would never have dreamed of dreidel pillows in the aisles of mainstream department stores or that even reptiles would be included in the Hanukkah fun! Maybe by next Hanukkah, more companies will, at the very least, run their Hanukkah merch by someone who knows about Hanukkah or basic Hebrew.
Here are the top eight most questionable Hanukkah offerings this year. As I say at the end of my Hanukkah shopping videos this season, “Thanks for trying!”
1. Hanukkah Nutcracker
This wooden Hanukkah nutcracker from Target is 14 inches tall!
WHAT WORKS: Love his little blue velvet kippah, and the fact that he’s holding a dreidel.
WHAT DOESN’T: The only letter on the dreidel (on all four sides) is SHIN, so… there’s no way to win! Also, his menorah is missing six candles and looks very much like a pitchfork (perhaps he assisted Judah and the Maccabees?).
This Hanukkah nutcracker is also available at Michael’s and JCPenney with… two more candles! Only four more to go.
2. Dreidel Surprise Balls
I was surprised to see such a large Hanukkah display at Barnes & Noble this year, which includes these adorable “Dreidel Surprise Balls,” made by Paper Source.
WHAT WORKS: These dreidels have correct Hebrew letters on them (unlike the recent West Elm Hanukkah garland fail).
WHAT DOESN’T: Only two out of the four Hebrew letters are actually on the dreidel (gimel and shin for the win!). Chet and chaf are great Hebrew letters, but do not belong on the dreidel. Whoops!
SPECIAL MENTION: The “Challah-Hanukkiah” underneath it is so cute. How cute would that be as a Shabbat candlestick holder?
3. Hanukkah Bakery Food Set
West Elm has had a bumpy Hanukkah season this year. I’m grateful that they swiftly took down a felt Hanukkah garland with made-up Hebrew letters on it.
This felt Hanukkah bakery food set from West Elm includes sufganiyot (jelly donuts), wrapped gelt, a paper bag with a Jewish star on it and a challah.
WHAT WORKS: This set, and the jelly donuts especially, are adorable! The gelt is “on-theme” with Hanukkah, although it’s not something that would be typically produced in a bakery…
WHAT DOESN’T: Including challah in a Hanukkah-themed set feels a bit extra. Once again: There is no connection between challah and Hanukkah! How about some latkes, with sour cream and applesauce as sides? Or go wild and make some dreidel cake pops? Or even a set of Hanukkiah sprinkle cookies?
4. Hanukkah T-Shirt
Macy’s is coming in strong with a chic, wintery Hanukkah shirt.
WHAT WORKS: I like the delicate chain detail and this shirt mostly pulls off the Hanukkah theme. They’ve included some great Hanukkah symbols, like the menorah, Jewish star, a dreidel, a present, snowflakes and….wait…
WHAT DOESN’T: A Torah scroll?! Hanging off its side?? As indicated by the collective gasp you’ll hear in any synagogue when the Torah gets jostled or almost falls, we honor the Torah by keeping it upright (except for when we’re reading it in the synagogue on a table), and never let it touch the ground. Sideways Torahs are just not a thing. Also, Hanukkah is not mentioned in the Torah.
5. Happy Hanukkah Wall Decor
This Hanukkah Wall Decor made its way to several stores’ websites (I ordered this one from Target) and is sort of the epitome of Hanukkah product fails.
WHAT WORKS: Hard to find something that works here. Dreidels and presents are good, I guess?
WHAT DOESN’T: Where to start? This should spell out “Hanukkah Sameach” (Happy Hanukkah) but in reality it spells out “Hakunach Chamesh.” The Hebrew letters are correct but they are in reverse letter order. We also have what looks like a genie’s lamp featured prominently (a new way to submit Hanukkah wishes, perhaps?).
6. Happy Hanukkah Candle
Last year, I was very impressed with the Bath & Body Works’ bedazzled Hanukkiyah Wallflowers Fragrance Plug, and loved the product description and packaging for their “Sufganiyot” candle (the actual scent was another story). I was excited to see they had an in-store Hanukkah display again this year.
WHAT WORKS: The packaging for this year’s candle, “A Celebration of Lights,” is cute. Olive branches, a menorah, a jug for oil. Check, check, check.
WHAT DOESN’T: Kiddush cups on the packaging are random, and the scent description felt very dialed in. Its fragrance notes include “Welcoming incense, warm myrrh, cozy sandalwood.” How about “experience the miracle of the oil burning for eight days with the powerful fragrance of incense, just like they used in worship at the Ancient Temple in Jerusalem.” See? Easy.
7. Unicorn Piggy Bank
This blue piggy bank unicorn currently (and apparently, accidentally) appears in a handful of CVS Hanukkah displays.
WHAT WORKS: Love the metallic blue!
WHAT DOESN’T: Oh dear. First, pigs are not kosher animals and the sacrifice of pigs is tied into the way that the Temple was desecrated. So, cute as they are, no piggies for Hanukkah, please. On top of the “treyf” (non-kosher) factor, throughout history Jews have been negatively associated with money (during the Middle Ages, Jews were prohibited from owning land and joining craft guilds so they were more likely to be money lenders), so any association with Jewish products and money is not ideal (which is why this Hanukkah money holder is also very cringe).
8. “Hanukkah” Sweatshirt
This cozy light blue Hanukkah sweatshirt by Championv includes the words and clip art for menorah, dreidel, latkes, challah, sufganiyot, Torah and… matzah.
WHAT WORKS: It’s impressive that this sweatshirt includes the Hebrew word for jelly donuts — sufganiyot. Someone did their homework, but only a bit because…
WHAT DOESN’T: This sweatshirt is the overly optimistic instapot of Hanukkah apparel. Let’s throw everything in and maybe it will taste delicious (even if a few of the items aren’t even food or Hanukkah-related)! The “Happy Hanukkah” should probably just say “Happy Jewish” but honestly, why even bother?
9. *Bonus Mistake* (or the Shamash!): Happy Hanukkah Pop Up Sukkah
Technically this Pop Up Sukkah is for Sukkot, but since its banner meant to say “Happy Hanukkah,” I’m including it.
WHAT WORKS: Cute! Easy to assemble! Includes paper strips to make garlands!
WHAT DOESN’T: An accidental Hebrew word reversal means that this entrance banner says “Hanukkah Happy” instead of “Happy Hanukkah.” Also, you know, wrong holiday.
SPECIAL MENTION: A happy accident that I absolutely love about this product fail is that Hanukkah is actually based off of the holiday of Sukkot! According to the Second Book of Maccabees, when the Ancient Temple in Jerusalem was rededicated (after the Jews couldn’t use it for a while since it had been overrun by pigs and more), they celebrated the holiday they had most recently missed without a Temple, which was Sukkot. Like Christmas in July, Hanukkah is actually Sukkot in the winter! We’ve celebrated it ever since — with a few extra products along the way.
