After my first child, I stared into the epic void of my closet and wondered, “What the hell do I wear to the bris?” My regular clothes still didn’t fit, and my maternity clothes were…well… maternity.
When I first sported my baby bump, I was a tiny little thing. It was frequently suggested enviously to me that I would be one of those women who only gained weight in her tummy, and that the rest of me would remain small. Fifty-seven pounds and a D-cup later…you get the gist. Luckily I had brought a baggy sweat-suit to the hospital with me, and I wore it every day after. But I knew the bris would come, and I would have to face the wardrobe reality of my life.
Le sigh. I wish someone had told me it was normal to sport a bump after the baby was born, and that nobody would have judged me for it. I wish someone had told me that I wasn’t supposed to care about being judged. My friend the pilates instructor was going to look hot at her son’s bris, and I was going to look like a double-chinned hot mess. I wish I’d realized that was okay. Needless to say, I wore a knit poncho. It was lovely, but it wasn’t fooling anybody. I may as well have worn a maternity dress.
At my second son’s bris, I high-tailed my way over to Target and bought a one-time-only XL wrap dress, and then posed for every picture at the party with my older child sitting in my lap so as to block my gut from view. This seemed to work wonders. But once again, I was more concerned with judgment than I was with reality.
So when Duchess Kate emerged from the birthing center with her husband and newborn, and literally billions of eyes watching her from around the world, I was shocked to see she was wearing a maternity dress!!!!
Normally I don’t care about the royals. I only thought William was hot when I was a teenager, and as gorgeous as Kate’s wedding dress was, I thought it was unoriginal and harkened back to Princess Grace, though it went a long way toward bringing modest wedding gowns back in fashion. When she stepped out wearing maternity after she had that baby, and then her husband goofily latched the car-seat into the SUV, I knew it was all calculated to make them look normal and relatable, so that the public would love them instead of loathing them for garnering so much attention. But my heart swelled with joy when I realized they had chosen to present Kate with her tummy on display. They had chosen to make this acceptable and normal and beyond judgment. They had chosen to let the world know that the stylish and skinny Duchess, mother to the future King of England, left the hospital unashamed at still looking pregnant.
So the next time someone asks you, “When are you due?” and you respond, “I already had the baby,” just let it go. If royalty can do it…
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