I was honestly heartbroken when Jeff Goldblum’s latest Netflix show, the addictive Greek mythology retelling “Kaos” in which the Jewish star played the one and only Zeus, was canceled.
But as they say, when one TV door closes, the steps to the TV bimah open (that is what they say, right?). That’s right, Jeff Goldblum just made the ultimate case to be cast as a cantor in the next season of Netflix’s “Nobody Wants This” and I am one billion percent sold. Dear Netflix overlords, don’t let this magical spiritual opportunity slip away. You must let Jeff Goldblum (the Wizard of Oz himself!) play a cantor — it’d be a mitzvah.
It all happened at the red carpet for the Critics Choice Awards, where both Adam Brody and Adrien Brody won for their very different but very Jewish roles — a hot rabbi for the former, a haunted Holocaust survivor and architect for the latter. Adrien even jokingly got up when Adam’s name was called. But before all that, our favorite “Nobody Wants This” Jewish mom Esther (apologies to Tovah Feldshuh, we’re terrified of Bina) aka Jewish actress Jackie Tohn, was interviewed with Jeff Goldblum and his wife on the red carpet and gave us a few minutes of unadulterated magic.
Variety’s Marc Malkin made the first move by urging Goldblum to be in the next season of “Nobody Wants This.” “You could be the cantor,” he insisted. Instead of replying with words like mere mortals do, Goldblum, along with the equally resplendent Tohn and his wife Emily started singing the traditional Jewish blessing over candles.
“Baruch ata adonai, eloheinu melech ha’alom,” they chanted, “asher kidshanu bemitzvotav, vetzivanu, lehadlik ner shel…” The three paused, momentarily confused about whether they should say this blessing over Shabbat or Hanukkah candles, but Tohn and Goldblum seemed to decide together that it should be, “ner shel Critics Choice.” I think they may have started a new holiday, and I hope they sing this blessing on Yom Critics Choice every year. (Or at every awards ceremony? Jackie, Emily and Jeff, we need you to light some candles at the Oscars later this month, please!)
We can’t deny this would be the perfect casting — you honestly wouldn’t even need to change the “Jurassic Park” star’s name — because who wouldn’t want to go to a synagogue with Cantor Jeff Goldblum?! Plus, we know that he loves the Yiddish music of Joel Grey’s father, comic singer Mickey Katz. I am off to picket at the Netflix offices until this becomes a reality.
