Having young kids is all encompassing, and finding the time for things like lighting Shabbat candles and celebrating Sukkot can often fall to the wayside. But keeping our traditions alive and introducing my children to Jewish customs is important to me, even at their young ages.
Luckily, having my children attend a Jewish preschool made things easy. Every Friday morning, my daughters were whisked into the synagogue for a Shabbat celebration, complete with the aforementioned candle lighting. Every Jewish holiday was not only celebrated, but explained, allowing my children to truly learn the importance of those holidays, even the smaller ones that we do not observe in our home. It allowed me to focus on other things, leaving the Judaism teaching for their school to handle.
It was four years of bliss — I felt no guilt if we had a super busy Friday and did not acknowledge Shabbat (the girls already made challah at school and we’ll just eat that for dinner!) and I never had to think about plans for Sukkot (their school hosts a touch-a-truck event!) or Purim (they do a Purim parade every year!). But now, my oldest is in public school and my youngest is getting ready to graduate soon and suddenly, keeping our Jewish traditions alive is sitting right on my shoulders.
Seeing how much my daughters love and appreciate these traditions makes it even more important for me to keep them going inside our own home. Growing up Reform, we did the basic things — Rosh Hashanah dinner, break the fast, Hanukkah — but the smaller holidays and the weekly Shabbat dinners were not on the agenda. I want more for my kids, and while I still plan to raise my children Reform, I want Judaism to be a strong theme for our family. I want to ensure that they don’t lose their love and pride of being Jewish once they no longer have that instilled in them at school. Here are a few ways I’m keeping Jewish traditions alive without our Jewish preschool’s help.
We always acknowledge Shabbat, even if it looks different
To me, Shabbat is one of the best ways to keep Jewish traditions alive inside the home. With it occurring weekly, it is a constant reminder of our Judaism and our devotion to our religion. But beyond the Jewish aspect, Shabbat is also a great way for us to reconnect after a long week, to sit down without screens or distractions and simply enjoy time to be together.
For us, though, Shabbat is not always going to be Friday after sundown with a home-cooked meal and prayers. Sometimes, it looks like a 4 p.m. candle lighting before we run out the door to go to dance class, and sometimes, when Friday evening is packed with activities, it may even be on Thursday night. As my kids get older, ensuring Shabbat is in fact on Shabbat will become more important. But for now, the time and day of the week is not as important as the meaning behind it.
We attend local Jewish events
Luckily for us, we live in a county with a lot of Jewish activities — and we take full advantage of that. We still make an effort to go to all the events at our Chabad preschool and we are active with the JCC, doing afterschool activities there like swimming and theater. The local Jewish Federation also does amazing things, like their “Sundays Together” series, where they host events for local Jewish families. We recently got to make challah with a popular Jewish influencer in preparation for the High Holidays.
Every time we leave one of these events, I can see the spark come back in my kids’ eyes — their love for Judaism and their pride shines through and they instantly remember how important, and special, it is to be Jewish.
We stay connected with the Jewish families we bonded with in preschool
It’s no secret that there is a connection between all Jews, regardless of location and socioeconomic status. So when we joined our Jewish preschool years ago, I knew I would connect with other families. What I didn’t realize is that those families would become a lifeline for us, not only through friendship but through Judaism as well. Diversity is important to us as a whole, which is why I chose to send my children to public elementary school. But knowing we have a solid group of Jewish families who we can attend events with or simply just be with makes holding our Judaism close to our hearts much easier. We also always have them to lean on when negative aspects of being Jewish arise, like antisemitism or threats, and it helps us feel less alone.
We talk about Judaism often
Regardless of how many holidays we celebrate or how many times we say the Hamotzi before we eat, the most important thing is to instill pride into my Jewish children. On the first day of school, my daughter asked her classmate if he, too, was Jewish. When he replied “I don’t know what that means,” my daughter was able to take that with a grain of salt, explain her religion the best way a 5-year-old can, and move on from it. She came home to tell us as if she had experienced a learning opportunity, not a negative stigma towards Judaism. I credit this to our constant conversations over Judaism and what it means to be Jew. Our children know the core values; they are eager to give tzedakah and help those in need and they are respectful and willing to put others first.
Yes, there is now more of a weight on my shoulders to ensure Jewish traditions remain a constant in my children’s lives, but it is a weight I am happy to bear. Throughout their public school days and beyond, I hope my children always get excited about making challah and lighting candles, and always lean into their Jewish pride.
