It is time! Submissions have closed, we’ve picked the finalists and now it’s your turn to pick this year’s Kveller Passover parody contest winner. It’s also time for us to reveal that the winning entry will be sung by the incredible Broadway (and TV! and movie!) star, Jonah Platt. Jonah has starred as Fiyero in “Wicked” on Broadway and Woof in “HAIR” at the Hollywood Bowl, and has been seen in everything from NBC’s “Jesus Christ Superstar Live” to “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and “The Office.” He’s also been known to sing some amazing renditions of Jewish prayers with his brothers Ben and Henry.
We got so many wonderful entries to the contest this year, including many versions of Beyonce’s “Texas Hold ‘Em” and Encanto’s “We Don’t Talk about Bruno,” metal songs and rap songs and rock classics. Choosing the finalists was tough, but we are really excited about this fine selection of songs that will give you that Y2K nostalgia (and one ’80s song that was recently featured in the “Barbie” movie, too).
Now it’s your time to shine by voting for your favorite one based on these sample lyrics (we had to leave something as a surprise, so you’ll hear the winning song’s full lyrics when it’s announced).
Kveller readers, the power is in your hands — use it wisely (channel your inner Moses, if you will). There’s a lot of important voting to do this year, but this is a fun and low-stakes opportunity you don’t want to miss out on. Voting closes on Friday, April 12 at 10 am ET.
Read through the entries below, and then click here to vote for your favorite!
1. “S8r Boi” to the tune of “Sk8r Boi” by Avril Lavigne — by Miriam Jayne Brosseau
“Cuz Moshe’s a seder boy
Say to the haters, oy!
Can you hear us singing dayeinu?
No, we don’t say his name,
But mad respect, all the same
To the guy who led us through”
2. “(Matzah) Brei Brei Brei” to the tune of “Bye Bye Bye” by *NSYNC — by Matt Slater
“I know that I can’t have pancakes
Or jam on rye.
I want a breakfast that tastes great:
Matzah Brei Brei Brei. (Brei Brei!)
I don’t want a simple boring egg.
Need a substitution for my french toast bread.
It’s so tasty, yeah you have to try
Matzah Brei Brei Brei. (Brei Brei!)”
3. “Maroar” to the tune of “Roar” by Katy Perry — by Eli Stutz submitted by Adam Stutz
“I got my eye on Elijah the prophet
Going for the goblet
The matzah, the karpas
And we’re gonna eat maror
The seder, later than midnight
The matzah, the karpas
And we’re gonna eat maror”
4. “Seder” to the tune of “All-Star” by Smash Mouth — by Matt Slater
“So much to do before we leave.
Everybody, head to the Red Sea.
If Pharaoh won’t leave us alone,
Then we’re gonna find a new home! So…
Hey now, it’s the Seder.
Learn of when we were slaves.
Hey now, it’s the Seder.
Learn of how we were saved.
How we escaped the Pharaoh.
Only Moses could…help us go-oh.”
5. “Four Cups of Wine” to the tune of “Closer to Fine” by the Indigo Girls — by Cantor Lauren Phillips Fogelman
“We walked through the desert, we stood by the mountain
We nurtured our children, used rocks as a fountain
At seder we talk about four questions
Before we begin to dine
The Haggadah tells our history and narrative
And we drink four cups of wine, yeah!
We drink four cups of wine, yeah!”
Vote for your favorite entry here.
